Ok, so I have a dog. And yes, my dog has bowel movements, daily.
MOST of the time, I really do pick it up, and dutifully throw it out. I have been doing this for dogs since I could walk (probably age 4 or so). So I have picked up a lot of dog shit.
But not many people in the Bronx believe that it is a dog owner's responsibility to do so. Many leave the dog excrement along with many other variations of garbage on the sidewalk, for no one to clean up. AND the garbage truck drivers are the biggest culprits. A bag breaks before it gets to the truck? Oh well. Its not MY job to clean it up.....
So there is a pervasive attitude in my neighborhood that trash belongs on the sidewalk including the dog shit. And sometimes, being a single dog parent I get lazy. I do. And I forget the doody bag, and YES! I leave the shit on the grass near the street with all of its other dog shit friends, where eventually it will fertilize the pathetic slice of earth that lies there refusing to grow anything. I don't suppose the heroin baggies have anything to do with the lack of flower growth?
Well one day, a man in a blue uniform stops his minty white Prius, runs up the block and says you just let your dog go, and you didn't clean it up? And I was like I did? and He says Do you have ID? And I said No. How about for the dog (the dog doesn't have pockets sir) He is wearing his tag as you can see...Well You have ID at your house. Well yes I do. Well lets go there so I can see it.
People in Blue uniforms always always always cost money. They do.
So He follows me in his city paid for Prius, and I walk dutifully to my apartment, and say, its upstairs sir, you can come up and see it. He's like I will wait here.
If I didn't have to go to work, I would not have come down, really, I wouldn't have. But alas, I have a job, that I had to transport myself to. So I did so, showed him my ID. He writes me a summons stating I allowed my Large dog (he is 25 lbs, not exactly large, So I am going to fight the summons)
Now for the glorious price of $250.00 I have earned more of my Phd in life.
My best friend's partner tells her I have a depressive sarcastic out look on life. Her partner told her that I don't look at the good things.
Well Mother fucker, ain't this grand??????